Defending the regulars

Chatting about blogs yesterday, my really sweet and tender, blog-following-obsessed best friend was telling me that she's been reading this blog written by a stay at home mom of a bunch of kiddos (I think 5). This young blogger writes about mommy life...how she raises her bundles, what she feeds them, what she thinks about modern parenting...all of the things that make up so many blog themes. My friend was telling me how guilty she felt after perusing this woman's latest post, wherein said "green-mama" (or G-M, as I will from hereon out call her) pontificated about the virtues of all things organic, natural, etc. On and on about how bad cow's milk is for human babies, how little ones shouldn't be introduced to solid food until 9 months or later, how cereals are actually very difficult to digest and, thus, not a good starter food, and so on. It wasn't necessarily the topic that was guilt-inducing, but her tenor was such that she implied that if you did not abide by her rules, you were somehow shortchanging your child. Much of her philosophy is, first of all, contrary to what many pediatricians will tell you, but also very much specific to G-M's values, beliefs and general approach to life. And, on top of it, all of these things seem to me to be challenging with the restrictions of a full-time working mom on a budget who simply might not have the hours or dollars to spare to shop for organic this and that, to make baby food prescribed to the specifications that G-M believes we should all obey, and to research exactly what it is, then, we're supposed to feed our angels, if not the things our pediatricians recommend. *Phew...long sentence!!*

Since we had this conversation, I've been pondering why, exactly, I'm so fired up about this. I told my friend she should leave a comment and stop following the blog. I mean, who among us really has the time or energy to waste feeling guilty about what we're not doing as parents when we're actually doing the very best we can with what we've got to work with? So, maybe we don't all belong to families making six figures. Maybe we don't all have the ability to stay home, no matter how much we wish we could. Maybe we don't all have daily help in getting things done for our little ones. And maybe bloggers should take this into account before they start preaching that their way is the right way.

I think this blogging thing is a fabulous idea. It gives us amateurs a chance to express ourselves, to share our stories, and to feel like we matter out there somewhere. But, it shouldn't be just another platform from which to pat ourselves on the back, announcing to all that we know best and everyone else is coming up short. Maybe instead, we should all take a moment to walk a few inches, at least, in those other people's shoes and understand that their values or their circumstances and ours might be different. To me, it seems all part of a bigger societal issue that could really bring me down if I let it, which is this seeming bubble syndrome...despite widespread media coverage of every little thing on earth and the ability to research and become voyeurs into every nook and cranny thanks to modern technology, somehow I feel like we've simultaneously gone into our own little bubbles, forgetting how many unique circumstances actually exist. It's my way or no way for so many...talk about breeding closed-mindedness! I get believing strongly in your own convictions...and I admire passion and dedication to an ideal or a philosophy about anything. Stand up for it...FOR YOU. And remember that maybe you're convinced your belief is right, but it's not necessarily right for us all. And by implying (or blatantly saying) so, you're alienating most of the rest of us. And, in the case of perhaps well-meaning folks like G-M, you're making the job of mom (or whatever else) feel overwhelming and something we should be ashamed of. And, you know what, my friend is one of the best moms I know! So, for her to feel guilty that she's not providing her children with organic, 100% natural soy milk products, made and grown locally and cultivated using sterile instruments in a vacuumous environment blows my mind. Ultimately, she loves her kids and is driven by that love in all moments of her life. That, to me, my friends, is a darn good mom.

And that's what I have to say about that...until next time something sparks me to climb on my soap box...my poor kids...see what they have to look forward to? :)